MEMO FROM THE PLANET KOLOB
FROM: GOD
TO: WILLARD MITT ROMNEY
DEAR MR. ROMNEY:
You have tested my ETERNAL patience with your dishonest campaign for president, while seeking my blessing to anoint you the "chosen one."
First of all, you are not the "White Horse" of your silly religion's prophecy. I only indulge you and your fellow believers for your faith and good deeds, regardless of your specific religious tenets.
Second, you should not misinterpret my having had a hand in Hurricane Sandy (Pat Robertson has long been in my doghouse), but if you did, do not be so prideful as to think I was "testing" you.
Third, learn to be humble, generous, and gracious. In other words, DO NOT FURTHER INCUR MY WRATH.
You know what to do. Tonight. Now, excuse me while I whisper instructions in Chuck Todd's head.
SIGNED,
G.
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