Friday, April 14, 2006

Howard, we hardly knew ye....

Well, dammit, we're not going to have Howard Kaloogian to kick around any more.

Howie, the buffoon who thought he could pass pictures of Istanbul off as Baghdad to show how everything was skittels and beer there lost the special primary for Duke Cunningham's seat in Congress.

Howard thanked his many friends and supporters in his concession speech at a rally in San Diego. He gave us a picture of the crowd below:

Thursday, April 13, 2006

None of the above

bradblog has Ann Coulter's voter registration form. She apparently registered at a fake address, but what is more interesting are the check boxes for "sex." Apparently neither choice was right...

Dueling Realities

April 13, 2006
Analysts Say a Nuclear Iran Is Years Away
New York Times

Western nuclear analysts said yesterday that Tehran lacked the skills, materials and equipment to make good on its immediate nuclear ambitions, even as a senior Iranian official said Iran would defy international pressure and rapidly expand its ability to enrich uranium for fuel. The official, Muhammad Saeedi, the deputy head of Iran's atomic energy organization, said Iran would push quickly to put 54,000 centrifuges on line—a vast increase from the 164 the Iranians said Tuesday that they had used to enrich uranium to levels that could fuel a nuclear reactor.

Still, nuclear analysts called the claims exaggerated. They said nothing had changed to alter current estimates of when Iran might be able to make a single nuclear weapon, assuming that is its ultimate goal. The United States government has put that at 5 to 10 years, and some analysts have said it could come as late as 2020.


Iran, which is defying United Nations Security Council demands to cease its nuclear program, may be capable of making a nuclear bomb within 16 days if it goes ahead with plans to install thousands of centrifuges at its Natanz plant, a U.S. State Department official said. "Natanz was constructed to house 50,000 centrifuges,'' Stephen Rademaker, U.S. Assistant Secretary of State for International Security and Nonproliferation, told reporters today in Moscow. "Using those 50,000 centrifuges they could produce enough highly enriched uranium for a nuclear weapon in 16 days."

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Thank you Stephen Colbert

Pre-9/11 thinking criticizes the President, post-9/11 thinking supports the President. That's what President Bush tells us.

Pretend you're him...

What can you say? How do you get up every day?

Hey hey LBJ

How many kids did you kill today?

Sorry, not LBJ, my age is showing--that would be GWB...

Well, April has already seen more troops killed than in March.

And you explain it to the families how?

Phi Slamma Jamma---or not??

Ah yes, Phi Slamma Jamma, the high-flying Houston Cougars of the Dream, Clyde (although I think the photo is a Rockets picture)...

and Guy Lewis with his towel..

No wait, it isn't PHI SLAMMA JAMMA-it is PHONE JAMMER SLAMMER I was thinking about---my bad.

Have you heard about the New Hampshire phone jamming scandal? Where high-profile Republicans actively disrupted the Democratic "get out the vote line" by hiring a telemarketing service to call and hang up on the Dems line?

We have criminal liability IN FEDERAL COURT in this case. What becomes very interesting is that James Tobin (Bush campaign regional manager and RNC official), who was convicted in the case, seemed to have special friends here:

Mr. Tobin made many many calls to the White House right around the time of this CRIMINAL conduct. The calls went to a political affairs office then headed up by self-loathing homosexual and now RNC Chair Ken Mehlman

who, according to Stephanie Miller, is played by Hillary Swank:

 jamming felons calling the White House? Naaah.....

Only you can prevent raging pants fires

Lacking Biolabs, Trailers Carried Case for WarAdministration Pushed Notion of Banned Iraqi Weapons Despite Evidence to Contrary

By Joby Warrick
Washington Post

On May 29, 2003, 50 days after the fall of Baghdad, President Bush proclaimed a fresh victory for his administration in Iraq: Two small trailers captured by U.S. and Kurdish troops had turned out to be long-sought mobile "biological laboratories." He declared, "We have found the weapons of mass destruction."

The claim, repeated by top administration officials for months afterward, was hailed at the time as a vindication of the decision to go to war. But even as Bush spoke, U.S. intelligence officials possessed powerful evidence that it was not true.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Memo Time

From the Desk of God


From: God
To: Pat Robertson


Jesus Christ, Pat (ooops, sorry, son)

First of all, it is obvious that you did not take my advice on that high fiber diet...

But beyond that--have I become the Playboy Channel? Am I 1-900-DIRTY-GOD?

EXCUSE ME? For the sake of Me, what is this?

Pat: And then I prayed. And I said, "Lord, what's wrong
with her?" I just prayed silently. And the Lord said, "Ask about her sex life,,,.Yes, He said that to me."

Mmmmm, Pat, I double-checked the calendar. I was busy saving poor homeless people, and the kid, he was at the Notre Dame football kickoff lunch that day, so please--just can the God talk, would you? Last time I asked anyone about their sex life, I was talking to Mary, OK?

Swedish web sites, late night Cinemax, maybe even the Department of Homeland Security--but Pat--it ain't me babe.

Love, and you're damned,


The leader of the free world

This is remarkable. The transcript doesn't really cut it, you have to see the video of him doing the "heh heh heh" nonsense, but even reading it says so much...

Q: My question is in regards to private military contractors. Uniform Code of Military Justice does not apply to these contractors in Iraq. I asked your Secretary of Defense a couple months ago what law governs their actions.

Giggly McMurder: I was going to ask him. Go ahead. Help.

Q: I was hoping your answer might be a little more specific. Mr. Rumsfeld answered that Iraq has its own domestic laws which he assumed applied to those private military contractors. However, Iraq is clearly not currently capable of enforcing its laws, much less against -- over our American military contractors. I would submit to you that in this case, this is one case that privatization is not a solution. And, Mr. President, how do you propose to bring private military contractors under a system of law?

Giggly McMurder: I appreciate that very much. I wasn't kidding--I was going to--I pick up the phone and say, Mr. Secretary, I've got an interesting question. This is what delegation -- I don't mean to be dodging the question, although it's kind of convenient in this case, but never--I really will--I'm going to call the Secretary and say you brought up a very valid question, and what are we doing about it? That's how I work. I'm--thanks

New day, same headline...

Bush Job Rating at New Low

This happens to be the Washington Post-ABC poll, but does it really matter?

Welcome to Oceana

The president tries to explain his leak, oops, "declassification" by saying "So I wanted to see-I wanted people to see the truth and thought it made sense for people to see the truth."

Let's see--he authorizes the surreptitious piecemeal disclosure of secret information KNOWN TO BE BOGUS for the sake of...truth.

War is peace

Freedom is slavery
Ignorance is strength

I think you need to check those numbers, folks

Driving 50 miles each way to work, I'm somewhat sensitive to the ever-elevating gas prices. Every time gas jumps by 20 cents, it's another $3 a week or $150 a year. So, when I see forecasts that gas prices are expected to jump again this summer, I get nervous. From

The department, in its seasonal forecast, said the average price of a gallon of regular gasoline will jump to $2.62 over the summer, up from last summer's average of $2.37 a gallon.

But here's where I'm confused:

The average price for a gallon of regular rose another cent Tuesday to $2.686, according to a AAA survey.

So, gas prices will rise to $2.62, but they're already at $2.69. Hmm. Math is, indeed, part of the axis of evil.

BTW, it was $2.79 driving in this morning.

Monday, April 10, 2006

Putting 2 and 2 together...

Today, Fearless Leader tells us:
In 2004, we intercepted a letter from Zarqawi to Osama bin Laden. In it, Zarqawi expressed his concern about "the gap that will emerge between us and the people of the land." He declared "democracy is coming." He went on to say, this will mean "suffocation" for the terrorists.

Wait, I've heard about that "letter" somewhere before. Oh I remember. It was a huge scoop by Dexter Filkins of the paper formerly known as the New York Times....Dexter Filkins, that name sounds familiar, where have I heard that name recently?

Oh that's right, I've got it. From the Washington Post's terrorist payola story this morning:

One slide in the same briefing, for example, noted that a "selective leak" about Zarqawi was made to Dexter Filkins, a New York Times reporter based in Baghdad. Filkins's resulting article, about a letter supposedly written by Zarqawi and boasting of suicide attacks in Iraq, ran on the Times front page on Feb. 9, 2004.

Monday's word of the day

Reality (re·al·i·ty) noun Actual being or existence, as opposed to an imaginary, idealized, or false nature; the state of the world as it really is rather than as you might want it to be.

Here is how NOT to use it in a sentence:

The President: Yesterday, our nation marked the third anniversary of a great moment in the history of freedom -- it was the liberation of Iraq.

The Novelty of "I Told You So" Wears Off Quickly

How many times has your humble correspondent advised that the administration has made way too much of Musab al-Zarqawi and "al Qaeda in Iraq?" Anyone with a passing familiarity with Iraq and middle east politics/terrorism has known for some time that al-Zarqawi is nothing more than a low-level thug prone to blunt violence. He reveled in his own self-aggrandizing claim of being "al-Qaeda in Iraq" and we knew that our simian boy king was grossly exploiting this small-time criminal by promoting him to an leadership position in "terror" so he could say "al-Qaeda" and "Iraq" in the same sentence. Hmm...

Military Plays Up Role of Zarqawi

By Thomas E. Ricks
Washington Post Staff Writer

The U.S. military is conducting a propaganda campaign to magnify the role of the leader of al-Qaeda in Iraq, according to internal military documents and officers familiar with the program. The effort has raised his profile in a way that some military intelligence officials believe may have overstated his importance and helped the Bush administration tie the war to the organization responsible for the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks.

The documents state that the U.S. campaign aims to turn Iraqis against Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, a Jordanian, by playing on their perceived dislike of foreigners. U.S. authorities claim some success with that effort, noting that some tribal Iraqi insurgents have attacked Zarqawi loyalists. For the past two years, U.S. military leaders have been using Iraqi media and other outlets in Baghdad to publicize Zarqawi's role in the insurgency. The documents explicitly list the "U.S. Home Audience" as one of the targets of a broader propaganda campaign.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

The president is a Cryan' Shame--or perhaps a Buckingham

It seems the president has been talking a lot lately. As I was reading his speech in North Carolina (the one where reality so rudely intruded!), I realized that it is very difficult to come up with a critique of his remarks that is of any real value. The first problem is that he is 1) a delusional megalomaniac and/or a pathetic stooge with no concept of what is happening around him beyond the simplistic talking points drilled into him by his organ grinder handlers. The second problem is of course, the fact that we've heard it all before.

How many times have we pointed out the absurdity of his description of the "enemy," in which he lumps everyone from Shi'ite militias to the Sunni resistance to a handful of foreign fighters under the rubric of "terrorists" with a monolithic "totalitarian" ideology? Over and over, we've pointed out that his version of democracy is both a false god and a fool's paradise. First of all, "democracy" was the last thing the Bush administration wanted, as they sought to set up Ahmed Chalabi as a company stooge. The "elections" were a bastardized afterthought forced on the administration by Ayatollah Sistani.

"Democracy" as an ideal has been criticized at least from the time of Plato and it is no panacea. Plato questioned humanity's ability to seriously question their own situation and their basic assumptions. he doubted that people would do the necessary work to inform and enlighten themselves to participate in the process in a meaningful way.

H.L. Mencken was even more harshly critical of democracy, as he wrote that "democracy always seems bent upon killing the thing it theoretically loves. I have rehearsed some of its operations against liberty, the very cornerstone of its political metaphysic. It not only wars upon the thing itself; it even wars upon mere academic advocacy of it." He at various times referred to democracy as

"a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance,"
"a form of worship, it is the worship of jackals by jackasses."
"only a dream, it should be put in the same category as Arcadia, Santa Claus, and heaven" and finally as
"the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage."

Should we also note that our system was not conceived as democratic? You may note that the constitution as drafted contained no right to vote, and included several anti-democratic provisions, such as the indirect election of senators and our old friend, the electoral college. Even Martha Washington described Thomas Jefferson as a "friend of the filthy democrats."

The president reminds me of one of those bands from the 60s and 70s that tour the summer festival and "Taste of [insert your town here]" circuit. Every night, they go out and play the same songs over and over again exactly the same way. The audience hears the first familiar chords and joins in to sing along. In this case, though, it's not "Kind of a Drag." These oldies but baddies are "9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11, Did I Say 9-11," "Stand Up, Stand Down," "Progress," "The Freedom March," and "That French Guy Alexis." The band is unable to come up with anything new and keeps replaying the same tired old songs over and over again.

And THAT is a Cryan' Shame.