Thursday, October 05, 2006

Another "Thinking or Sitting" Exclusive

We here at "The Thinker -- or Just Sitting Around" are pleased to provide you with an exclusive copy of the official investigation by John Shimkus (R-IL), U.S. Representative, and Chair of the U.S. House of Representatives Page Committee into the activities of Mark Foley (R-FL), Co-Chair of the U.S. House of Representatives Caucus for Abused and Exploited Children.

Scene: Cloak Room - U.S. House of Representatives. Rep. Shimkus finds Rep. Foley hunched over a laptop computer...

Shimkus: Mark, you got a minute? Hey! why are your pants around your ankles?

Foley: My aide is bringing me some fresh dry-cleaned clothes, and you know, I am working on some serious business here. (types feverishly)

Shimkus: I've received a pretty troubling note from the parents of a page.

Foley: (eyes roll back into his head as he stares into his laptop) Uhhhhhhhhhhh.... Sorry - what was that?

Shimkus: Parents of a page - they're saying that you've been sending emails to their son.

Foley: (adjusts the crotch on his pants) Yeah, right. He's really hot - er, I mean, I was concerned about him - he was in a hot spot.

Shimkus: Well, they're worried, that you're being too friendly with him.

Foley: Well that's a load of crap!! (turns way from laptop, grabs several kleenex from a dispenser and turns his back) You know that I try hard to be a mentor to these boys, so far from home - so far from adult supervision (wipes drool from his chin).

Shimkus: Well that's all well and good, but there are concerns. You really need to dial back on your contact with this kid.

Foley: Really? (zips up his pants, closes laptop). Well, I need to go vote on this Internet Child Protection bill. Is there anything else?

Shimkus: No, I guess that covers it. So you'll stay away from the kid?

Foley: Yeah sure - Scout's Honor (crosses fingers behind his back).

Shimkus: Thanks a lot Mark. You've taken a great burden from my mind. I guess I can consider the matter closed. Hey, you've got a stain on your pants there.... Where's your aide with the drycleaning?

Foley: I'm sure he's around somewhere. See you later John (walks to the chamber door).

Shimkus: OK, bye Mark.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

What happened to presumed innocent until proven guilty????

Rousing Rabble said...

I am not trying Mr. Foley. He resigned his seat as soon as he found out that his IMs were to become public knowledge. Mr. Foley will have his hands full fending off federal and state investigations into his actions. The whole point of MY post was to illustrate how absurd it is to believe that Mr SHIMKUS did ANYTHING but willfully ignore a timebomb...

schmidlap said...

Innocent until proven guilty is the established procedure in criminal courts of law in the US.

This is not a criminal court of law; this is a blog.

Hope that helps.