The Scootershank Redemption

The Scootershank Redemption



FLOYD: Takin' bets today, Red?

RED: Smokes or coin, bettor's choice.

FLOYD: Smokes. Put me down for two.

RED: Alright, who's your horse?

FLOYD: That little one there, holding the picture of Dick Cheney.

RED: That guy? Scooter? Never happen.

(cut to the admitting area)

WARDEN NORTON: This is Private Lyndie England, she's captain of the guard. I'm Mr. Norton, the warden. Any questions?

SCOOTER: When do we eat?

LYNDIE ENGLAND: YOU WILL EAT HALLIBURTON MEALS WHEN WE SAY YOU EAT! YOU GOT THAT?

(cut to cell block)

RED: The first night's the toughest, no doubt about it. Somebody always breaks down crying. Happens every time. The only question is, who's it gonna be?

VOICES: Fishee, fishee, fisheeee... You takin' this down, new fish? Gonna be a quiz later. Keep it down. The screws'll hear...Fishee fishee fisheeee...Hey

RED: The boys always go fishin' with first-timers, like Scooter... and they don't quit till they reel someone in.

HEYWOOD: Hey Scootie! Talk to me, boy. I know you're there. I can hear you breathin'. Now don't you listen to these nitwits, you hear me?

SCOOTER: GOD! HELP ME DICK! JUDY? REMEMBER THE ASPENS AND THE ROOTS? I DON'T BELONG HERE! I WANNA GO HOME!

HEYWOOD: AND IT'S SCOOTER BY A NOSE!

VOICES: Fresh fish... fresh fish... fresh fish... fresh fish... fresh fish... fresh fish... fresh fish... fresh fish...

SCOOTER: I WANNA GO HOME! I WANT CONDI!!! HELP ME DICK!!