Due to the extreme likelihood that a pretty white girl will disappear today, the White House has ordered a heightened "Pretty White Girl" awareness level and placed CNN's white girl disappearance expert Nancy Grace on full alert.
Presidential spokesman Scott McClellan stated "Look, we have big-time indictments going down, and we need cover. We threatened New York, no one cared. Someone had the bright idea that we could distract attention away with Greenspan's replacement, but hell, I'm not really sure what the Federal Reserve does, so we went with the obvious choice--missing pretty white girls."
The White House also announced that it is sending a compromise measure to Congress in response to Sen. John McCain's ban on torture. Under the president's proposals, foreign prisoners could only be tortured on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays and after 6 P.M. on weekends.
1 comment:
Gotta be careful, Pete - did you see that the White House is pissed off at the Onion for using the seal of the president?
Of course, that would be great press for us.
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