From the Desk of God

From the Desk of God

Dear Humanity:

I have recently heard that President George W. Bush said that I told him to invade Iraq. As the creator of the world, of all that is seen and unseen, I have but one comment on the president's statement:

ARE YOU %#!&-ING KIDDING ME??????

Let's see. I made this:









and this:









and this:









I inspired him:












and him:



















and her:













Do you SERIOUSLY think I told HIM









to do THIS?????









Now I admit that once back when he was at Yale that I DID tell him it would be a good idea to have a 12-pack of Schlitz and then go over to the Kappa house and serenade the sisters with "Apples, Peaches, Pumpkin Pie" by Jay & The Techniques without wearing pants. That was strictly for fun though. Deities need a laugh or two once in a while as well, you know! But this mess? Home, no! (sorry, heavens no!)

One more thing. He said before that Jesus was his "favorite philosopher." I saw the boy a couple of months ago. Oh, don't act surprised, you know, he's busy, I'm busy, that whole "seated at the right hand of God" thing is way overblown. He said to tell you, though, Georgie, that while he appreciates the thought, he thinks you're a dick.

Have a nice day, all.

God